I believe in nothing but the truth in who we are.

I used to think that I believed in God. Now I don’t know what I believe anymore. When I was younger, my parents thrusted Buddhism on me (and they still do) because it was just the custom and tradition. But I had no idea what it was even about. Then I went to Youth Conference two years in a row and was educated about God. It was a really blissful time. It felt like all my problems were solved because I had something to believe in.

Now that I’m older and have actually thought about it, I don’t know if I actually believe in God. I’m not going to say that I am an expert on all things Christian and God-related but from what I’ve seen and heard, I have started to be very skeptic about God. Apparently everything happens for a reason because it’s all in God’s plan. I understand that to every life there is death, but it’s strange thinking that deaths due to murder, motor accidents, suicide and other horrendous causes are all a part of God’s plan. Is God really the good guy if everything corrupted happening on Earth is part of his plan? Because I really do not understand it.

Religion in general confuses me and I know it’s a touchy topic. I think it’s good to have faith in something but after all those years of passing down religious information from generation to generation… how accurate is it? How many of these people actually believe in it because they do or because it’s what they were accustomed to? I am not trying to offend anyone. I am just letting my thoughts flow.

I don’t know if I’m an Atheist, or a Christian, or a Buddhist, or something else that I have yet to learn about. I feel like I’m an Atheist due to the lack of religion in my life, except for when I’m with my parents. I feel like I haven’t grasped any of my family’s traditions. There are some things discussed in Buddhism that I actually agree on and find enlightening but besides that it doesn’t play a signficant role in my daily life.

I feel as though I’m betraying my family and disgracing the generations before me because I barely know anything about my culture and there’s a slim chance that I’ll be passing it down.

Oh the conflicts of being a Canadian Vietnamese person.